公主日记剧本THE PRINCESS DIARIES(part3)

　　Joe: Now tell me, what kind of dancing do you do?

　　MIA: Dancing? Just the normal kind. You know, like…

　　Joe: I see. We have a Genovian alternative. Now, the dances here are very sedate right from the hips. In place. No bobbing of the head, please. It’s not a doggy on a dashboard. Straight up. Let’s practice this here. Now, this dance is between a waltz and a tango, you see?

　　MIA: It’s a wango?

　　Joe: no. all right, here we go. Spin out and spin into me. Um…try again. One more spin. Very quickly, now pull away. That’s it. Good. Good attitude. Spin in. good.

　　MIA: I did it? Grandma, I spun without hurting anyone!

　　Clarisse: That’s very good news. Better. It’s coming along. Now you may go home. Thank you, Joseph.

　　Joe: You’re been wearing black too long.

　　Lilly: Mia! Are you ready?

　　MIA: On, hey. I’m really sorry but I can’t do it today. I’ve got a Grandma thing. And I‘ll call you. Bye.

　　Lilly: What? Has your grandma turned into the big bad wolf? Cute, Jeremiah, but a way to a girl’s heart is not by treating her like a vending machine.

　　Clarisse: You’re late.

　　MIA: I know. I am really sorry about it.

　　Clarisse: And where is Paolo?

　　Charlotte: Send in Paolo

　　Clarisse: Ah! Always prompt. Good afternoon. We’re so pleased you could make yourself available to be here.

　　PAOLO: Your Majesty.

　　Clarisse: We won’t waste time. Let the work begin.

　　PAOLO: Ah, of course. Where is the beautiful girl?

　　Clarisse: My granddaughter Amelia.

　　PAOLO: She is gorgeous. Let us take a closer look.

　　Clarisse: Paolo, we have a limited number of days before the state dinner.

　　PAOLO: Fizzy, busy, and dizzy. In the best sense.

　　Clarisse: Oh, I would like it if your ladies would also sign our confidentiality agreement.

　　PAOLO: Majesty, they know what is a secret, eh?

　　Charlotte: Excuse me, Your Majesty. The Genovian press secretary’s waiting for your call.

　　Clarisse: Oh, of course. Well, I’m afraid I’m going to have to leave and come back and be surprised. Charlotte, watch him like a hawk.

　　PAOLO: so we begin, princess? In Paolo’s hands, remember: you will be beautiful. You have thick hair. Like a wolf. Do you wear contact lenses?

　　MIA: well I have them, but I don’t really like to wear them that much.

　　PAOLO: now you do.

　　MIA: you broke my glasses!

　　PAOLO: you broke my brush. I love your eyebrows. We’ll call them “frida” and “kahlo”. If Brooke Shields married Groucho Marx that child would have your eyebrows. Do you want to know a big secret?

　　Woman: tell me.

　　Paolo: the cucumber does nothing. This is something we make up. Majesty, Paolo is exhausted because, Majesty, only Paolo can take this and this… and gives you a princess.

　　Clarisse: better. Much better. Why don’t we go and have a wonderful cup of tea? Come, Mia!

　　Michael: Lily, the car’s here!

　　Lilly: I’m coming!

　　Michael: thanks for the ride. Thank you.

　　Lilly: Michael, don’t always think you can get a ride with us. Who destroyed you?

　　MIA: oh. You think it looks that bad?

　　Lilly: you look ridiculous. You should sue.

　　MIA: I know it’s a little straighter and shouter

　　Lilly: Weirder!

　　Michael: An attractive weirder.

　　Lilly: no. It’s not attractive. What I really can’t understand you ditched me again yesterday when I needed your help on the Greenpeace petition. This bag! You have one of these bags? You know we could hock that and feed a whole Third World country? Am I right?

　　Joe: if there are no more passengers I think we should close the door.

　　Lilly: I mean you used to care more about what was inside your head instead of on it. Come on, Mia. Fess up. I don’t know where you are these days and now you’re turning into an A-crowd wannabe? You are morphing into one of them? And who knows, next week you could be waving pom-poms in my face. You sold out!

　　Joe: Was my rear-view mirror fogging up or was someone tearing back there?

　　MIA: I’m fine.

　　Joe: very well. Then I’ll go meet your grandmother. But you should know that no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

　　MIA: Eleanor Roosevelt said that.

　　Joe: yes. Another special lady like yourself. I’ll be back at 3:00.

　　Lilly: she has a hat. Do you really think wearing that hat will keep people from seeing your new Lana-do? Just because the student population might be morally bankrupt doesn’t mean they’re blind.

　　MIA: Lilly! Just stop it, OK? Just because your hair sucks, get off mine!

　　Michael: Ouch. Thank you.

　　Lilly: Michael, can you please pretend you have a life for just one moment? What did you just say to me?

　　MIA: you heard me. I am so sick of you ragging on me all the time and always telling me what to do. I get enough of that from my mother and now my grandmother and I don’t need it from you!

　　Lilly: I’m not an idiot, so I know something’s going on you’re not telling me! Friends tell, so you know what? Here is your friendship charm. I’m taking it off and it’s going in the dirt!

　　MIA: don’t do that, ok? All right, just wait.

　　Lilly: why?

　　MIA: I will tell you the truth but you’re gonna think it’s really stupid and you’re gonna freak.

　　Lilly: try me. Shut up!

　　MIA: is that all you can say?

　　Lilly: I’m sorry I was harsh and I don’t know what else there is to say. Will you come on my cable show?

　　MIA: no, I can’t. This is a royal secret. You can’t tell anyone. Not even Michael especially not Michael. You are sworn to secrecy. Secret handshake. We might have to think of a new secret handshake.

　　Lilly: are you really sure you can